I used to have thick full hair- so thick that you couldn't even wrap an elastic band around your pony tail twice. I can't say I ever had beautiful hair. It was always frizzy and had this funky wave that never wanted to cooperate. I always thought my hair was a curse and I remember wishing to have thin hair. I guess I should watch out for what I wish for...wishes can come true. If only I knew that my thick hair was a blessing, I would not have taken it for granted.
I didn't realize my hair was falling out so drastically right away. I had just given birth to my fourth child and had experienced hair loss before after birth because of a change in hormones. It's actually quite normal, but it will eventually stop. In this case it never did.
I never a was a pill popping birth control advocate. I've actually always had mixed feelings about taking them. Only 2 times in life had I taken the pill. Growing up in the LDS faith I cherished my role as mother and had been taught repeatedly the importance of "Multiplying and replenishing the earth" and the nobility of motherhood. Getting closer to child bearing years and marriage I had to do some soul searching. Without official church doctrine, only guidelines to help you make a personal decision, I chose at that time that the pill would be temporary method to help plan my family. I didn't experience any harsh or sudden effects in my early year of marriage and when we felt the time was right, I got off the pill and had no trouble getting pregnant. Over the next ten years, I didn't use the pill because having children was important to me.
After 6 pregnancies, 3 C-sections and 4 children I had to do some soul searching again about motherhood and raising children. Not knowing exactly what I wanted and having not experienced any harsh effects with the pill, I decided that I would give it a try again. Thing is, I never really understood what the Birth Control Pill really was. In some sense, I was still naive. I trusted doctors and modern medicine (and at times, still do). I had never really heard any negative side effects from taking the pill except for weight gain and increased acne. In my naive state, I thought the pill was just some kind of medicine that stop pregnancies. So naive, I didn't even realize that the Birth control pills were hormones that would drastically change the balance of my hormones which could never be balanced again. Trust me, I was so naive that sometimes I wish I could slap myself on the forehead and say "Duh, I'm dumb!" At that time, the pros outweighed the cons...if only I knew!
So I made a choice. Do I regret it? Sometimes, but at that time and with the knowledge I had, I made a choice that I felt was right. I've beaten myself with the "what if's and the "why me's" but it doesn't change anything.
This post isn't about the why or why nots of taking the pill. There are some in my church that are strongly opposed to taking it. Good for you! I admire your strong faith and belief. There are those like me who uses faith, medical science, logic, trust in God and in one self to make a decision. Is that bad? I don't know. Women who don't take the pill are not any better than those who did or who do. Why compare our decision with others. Women are notorious for secretly comparing themselves or putting others down silently to feel better about themselves.... I've come to peace with my choice.
Anything that has to do with contraception, family planning, birth control has been hush, hush topics especially in a religious setting. My mother wasn't great at educating me and I really had no one to talk to or sources to inform me. I had all the religious teachings of why the pill might not be the best option, but not much medical advice. Today, even doctors don't inform you about these side effects- maybe feeling the pressure of pharmaceuticals- they try to sell them to you. Now with the increase of technology, thankfully there are more articles and women speaking up. Maybe my story isn't new, but it's mine and now I have a choice to live it or hide from it. I choose the former....
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